Sunday, September 28, 2008

On the Discipline of Submission (part 2)

“Submission is yielding to the authority of another…Of course the authority to which we must yield is God’s authority.” (p. 34)

Previously when I thought of submitting to my husband I would cringe and think, “He has no authority over me! Why should I bring my will under his? I want things my way and he should do what I want!” But the truth is God has given my husband authority over me.

For any relationship to work there has to be a point at which each person is willing to let go of their own way and let the other person make the final decision. Both members of the relationship must be considerate and kind toward one another’s needs and wants.

But when a decision reaches a point of impasse, God has given authority to my husband and I must give up my wants and let him have the final say. Sometimes my husband’s decision is not the best one in that situation, but I have to learn to be kind and support him through it. If I choose to say, “I told you so” then I am choosing bitterness and unsubmissiveness (inconsideration and unkindness), which do not produce joy or a positive relationship with my husband.

There have been decisions that have taken us weeks to work out. My husband is very good about considering my wants, needs, opinions, and ideas and extremely patient too! But there are times when neither one of us agrees with the other about what to do, and after a while it is obvious we are not going to reach a point of agreement. It is at this point that I give up my ideas and let him make the final decision.

If I wasn’t so stubborn it probably wouldn’t take as long to realize that we won’t reach a point of agreement and the decision would be made much faster!


  1. It is so hard for me to not say some variation of "I told you so..." I like how you point out that it's kindness that's lacking at that point!

  2. I'm glad it works like that for you but it dosn't work like that for everyone. If my husband and I disagree, we take time to pray about it and then talk about it again, and then we usually agree on something - and if we don't agree, we are able to work together and make a decision together.

  3. My mother always said it isn't really submission until you don't agree! It may sound funny, but it sure is true for my stubborn and rebellious nature!


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